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“Be there. Be open. To be honest. To be nice. Be willing to listen, understand, accept, support, and forgive. That is what it means to love ” – Lori Deschene
When you’re in love, it’s said that your heart beats quicker.
But who understands what it’s like to be naked in front of a crowd of people, absolutely naked, and in the middle of the stage than the simple idea of opening the channel and allowing love bring you?
Vulnerable. Completely exposed.
“Of all kinds of prudence, prudence in love is perhaps the deadliest for true happiness” – Bertrand Rusell
We are apprehensive about allowing someone into our lives. It’s like walking through a minefield; you never know what will happen next. And control is just what we all seek in those situations. To be in complete command of the situation.
Because love is both perilous and enigmatically mysterious. It’s not knowing what will happen or how it will happen, but it’s about overcoming fear and learning to love uncertainty.
Because whoever takes a chance loses nothing, and whoever does not take a chance never wins. Because you’ll realize one day that you’ve never dared to love. That no one will ever tell you that everything is going to be OK.
That no one will ever hold you in his arms and tell you that this, too, will pass. That they will never come to your aid. You’ll never be able to be there for someone else.
Realize that unless you begin to acquire these 9 qualities, you will never know what love is:
1. Just Be There
Love isn’t something that grows on its own. It requires you to show up, to be fully there in order for it to thrive.
You used to spend a lot of time buried in your thoughts, paralyzed by your worries and insecurities, putting all of your energy into defending yourself. And while you’re like this, you’re not available to your friends or family. For them, it’s not you. At least not in a genuine and genuine sense. When you’re physically in one location but emotionally in another, you can’t love or be loved.
You need to set your worries, fears, and insecurities aside and focus more on the people in front of you. You will be ready to truly love when you leave your intellect and enter your heart.
“When you love someone the best thing you can do is offer your presence” – Thich Nhat Hanh
2. Be Open
A closed heart is the most imprisoning jail there is.
People frequently shut down in order to protect themselves from harm. They fear that if they let someone in, they won’t be able to control what happens next, therefore keeping their hearts locked prevents future issues.
But let me assure you that being open to love does not need exposing your darkest side. All you have to do now is allow yourself to let down your guard long enough to let someone else in.
Allow yourself to be who you would be if you didn’t have the fear of being harmed. Allow people to fall in love with you rather than the image you offer them, because there is nothing more rewarding than presenting yourself to the world and receiving the respect you deserve.
“The greatest attraction you could possess is having an open heart” – Nikki Rowe
3. Be Sincere
Being true in love entails more than just avoiding lying. You have to be yourself. You, amazing and flawed.
Pretending to be someone you’re not or hiding your feelings sends a troubling message to the person you love. Demonstrate insecurity and fear of being yourself, and the way you love yourself is the way you teach others to love themselves.
If you don’t display your true self, how can someone truly love you?
“Honesty is more than not lying. It is telling the truth, living the truth and loving the truth ” – James E. Faust
4. Be Nice
Insecurity is bad because it sends the wrong messages to your brain. A change in schedule appears to be a rejection. A differing point of view appears to be an attack. But none of this implies that I don’t care for or admire you.
Accepting that others can’t always satisfy your expectations and allowing the other person some freedom in how they act and respond is part of being kind. Even when you are disappointed, it implies caring for and treating the other person well.
“Be nice whenever possible. It is always possible ” – Dalai Lama
5. Be Willing to Listen
Love is a dialogue rather than a monologue.
We all have a head full of things we want to explain, a heart full of emotions we want to express, and a mouth full of words we want to utter when we first start.
However, if you recognize it through listening, you will gain significant information from your spouse. Your worries, doubts, and words of love can all aid, encourage, and strengthen the bond you share.
Everyone wants to be heard, to know that their words and feelings are valued.
Listening actively is like saying a great I love you without having to say the words. It’s about developing empathy and connection, and forming a bond between you that can’t be reached through other means.
Talk about the world, about yourself, about your dreams and worries. Because you can’t truly understand what love is unless you first learn to listen.
“The first duty of love is to listen” – Paul Tillich
6. Be Willing to Understand
Knowing how to grasp what you hear is the second most important aspect of a couple’s true connection. And that entails being receptive to differing viewpoints, including those that are diametrically opposed.
To be willing to understand does not imply that you must abandon your beliefs in order to constantly agree with the other. It entails learning to embrace the possibility that another, equally legitimate point of view exists.
Accepting and appreciating the other person’s posture and views isn’t the same as understanding yourself. You must actively accept the fact that you are one of the two individuals who make up that pair, and that you both have the same right to express yourself in your own unique way.
“One of the most beautiful things in a relationship is being able to understand and be understood” – Seneca
7. Be Willing to Accept
To experience true love, you must first believe that you are deserving of it, that you are truly valued enough for another to fall in love with you.
You must accept yourself completely, with all of your flaws and flaws. Do the same thing with him.
Accept that you don’t have to be flawless, and that he will never be. Take a step back and remember that the mess or the mayhem doesn’t matter because you did it with love and good intentions.
Accepting the other person as they are means believing that you don’t have to change who you are in order to be valued. And this isn’t something that happens overnight. Simply consider how you would like to be treated in that situation and respond accordingly.
“The greatest gift you can give to others is unconditional love and acceptance” – Brian Tracy
8. Be Willing to Support
We all have issues, and sometimes we just need some time and space to work through our own emotional roller coaster. But watch out! We must keep in mind who is in front of us.
Recognize that the other person is going through a difficult time as well. And we must look for those indications in order to recognize this. It entails focusing on the other person and putting your personal struggles on hold for the time being.
You improve your relationship a bit more each time you go beyond your own thoughts and issues to be there for the other person.
“Surround yourself with people who give you support and love and remember to give back as much as you can in return” – Karen Kain
9. Be Willing to Forgive
There will be blunders and misunderstandings when two individuals are involved, it is a given. But the truth is that all of this is just an opportunity for you to learn more about each other and grow closer together.
Stop taking what they do (or don’t do) as a personal attack because you’re on a team and want the best for each other.
You’re more than simply a pile of dirty dishes. You’re worth a lot more than fussing about a weekend plan that didn’t work out.
To forgive means to think to yourself, “That mistake was minor, but our love is enormous.” And the same thing would happen even if it was a tremendous blunder. Your love is powerful enough if it can withstand.
In addition, every time you forgive someone else, you will gain the compassion to forgive yourself.
“People make mistakes. Don’t let a mistake ruin something so beautiful “
This is What It Means to Love
Imagine inviting love to enter your heart by opening it.
Consider how you’d feel if you were more confident in your own skin. In a relationship, you are confident in your ability to be honest, open, and kind. Be open to listening, understanding, supporting, and forgiving others.
That is the true meaning of love. That is what you are entitled to, and what you should strive for.
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